Likewise, most of the stories I was hearing in church and reading on my own in the Bible were about men/women who were also on a personal journey of varying sorts. So from a very early age the concept of taking a personal journey was being imprinted on my mind.

When I reached the 8th grade, like most young men, I read less and found myself more interested in girls and sports. The time I had spent reading about others taking their journey’s was now the time I was spending taking on my own journey. And what a journey it has been. Just like the characters in the books I read, my personal journey has had it’s triumphs and tribulations, its hardships and its heartaches. I have loved and been loved. I have also been very hurt by those who loved me. I have experienced great pain and even loss of life of my own mother, lovers and friends. And now, at this point in my journey, I can see and honestly say that it all had purpose. I am the man I am today because of what I have experienced in my life and more importantly, how I have chosen to respond to my life’s experiences. But to be honest, there is a “secret” to the success of my journey. And that “secret” is I have been blessed with various life coaches throughout my life’s journey, beginning with my parents. My dad, who while I was a young boy, taught me how to waterski at age two, fish, shoot guns and play games like horseshoes, billiards, ping pong and card games. He also instilled in me the value of a strong work ethic by modeling that for me. My mother taught me the value of being kind and having a servant’s heart, that healthy relationships were the key to a healthy life, that chasing money and status were empty and superficial and the importance of good nutrition and wellness. My next memorable life coaches were my soccer and baseball coaches throughout high school and college. These men had a very positive impact in my life and I credit my athletic successes due to their direct influence on me.

But then I entered my twenties and found myself “coachless.” With my sporting career over and my parents allowing me to be on my own, I found myself floundering for the first time in my life. I found myself trying to make personal decisions that seemed right to me at the time but with no wise coach or mentor to guide me, to bounce ideas off or and most importantly, hold me accountable. It was during these “uncoached” years that I’m can look back and see where I made some very poor life decisions, decisions that were painful and hurt me and others and would ultimately affect my life for the next two decades. The biggest of those was the choice of marrying my first wife, who was a nice girl but not the best choice for me or for that matter, neither was I for her. Looking back, we were two hurting, lonely people who just wanted the hurt to stop and too be happy. Like many people in their 20s, we thought getting married and having kids would make us happy and solve our problems. Nothing could have been further from the truth and thus ushered in what I call, the dark years. The only redeeming silver lining of that major life decision was the birth of my two daughters.

I was very fortunate in that at age 30 I was invited to join a men’s ministry group that met weekly. In this group, I found new “life coaches” and for the first time in almost a decade, I felt a sense of peace and empowerment. I also made the wise decision to be coachable and began meeting with a therapist, who I met with on and off for 10 years. I found him to be very helpful in unraveling many of the mysteries of my life and helping make sense of the world I live in. It was through this group and the therapists work that I realized I could not move forward in life and be true to myself being married to the wrong person. So I made the decision to dissolve that union at age 39, knowing I would be paying a heavy price both financially and otherwise. I began my forties unencumbered and for the first time in my adult life, I felt a sense of peace, a sense that things were going to get better. I began a new career as a massage therapist and quickly found I had a natural gift and a life calling in that profession. In massage I found a life purpose and a constant stream of affirmation from my clients. During this time I was a co-parent to my two preteen daughters and truly enjoyed spending quality time with them unencumbered with their birth mothers involvement, which had been a major source of pain and conflict while married. I decided to seek out a different therapist and this time specifically chose a female. My reasoning was that I wanted to be coached the eyes of a female after having been coached the majority of my life by men. And after the tragic death of my birth mother at age 30, her absence and wisdom was noticeably missed. Over the next several years I received some wise council and great advice from my female therapist, and again, like with others before her, I credit her influence in helping shape me through some formative years.

Whereas I feel as though I’ve been on a journey my whole life, I must say that the decade of my 40s was where I believe I made the most progress. This is the decade I consider to be, my most impactful on my journey of authenticity. My goal in my 40s was to become not only authentic but the best version of myself. So armed with these two lofty aspirations, I consciously made intentional decisions throughout my 40’s to explore life, to take the road less traveled, to peek behind the curtain, to try new things and to challenge myself to answer life’s most challenging questions; who am I and who do I want to be?

One of life’s best kept secrets can be found in the book, appropriately named, The Secret. In the book, they described this profound secret to be, “the law of attraction.” True to form, as I was growing and developing and becoming a better version of myself, I found myself attracting others who were on a similar life journey. This was vastly different from before when I seemed to be attracting people who were content to live in their pain and misery. And it was during my forties and this time of great personal growth of authenticity that the universe brought my current wife into my life. Our meeting was truly one of destiny, that one in a million chance encounter, and it quickly became apparent to us both that we were destined to be together. We have celebrated 5 years of marriage together in a blended family that has been nothing but marital bliss the entire time. Imagine a marriage devoid of conflict, a marriage where two people feel respected and valued and their opinions validated and respected 99% of the time.(I’d say 100% but you wouldn’t believe me.) My second marriage has been everything a hopeless romantic, like myself, could hope for and more. My only two regrets are that I did meet her sooner and that my mother didn’t get to know her.

So now I find myself in the decade of my 50’s. A little older, a lot wiser and an empty nester. I am most fortunate in that I have the true love and support of my wife, who values and supports my journey of authenticity and who I am and becoming as a person while on my journey. I am blessed that I have four adult children; ages 19-24, who love me and respect me and who come to me routinely for my wisdom and counsel. And I am blessed in having several kind and healthy friends who have my back and in whom I draw strength and affirmation.

One of my favorite movie scenes of all times is towards the end of the movie, The return of the King. In this scene, the character Samwise Gamgee and Frodo find themselves climbing the treacherous rocky side of Mount Doom. For those who have not seen the movies, this is the third movie of the trilogy and Frodo and Samwise have been on a journey to destroy the one ring of power. Frodo has chosen to carry the ring. The three movies are about this journey which has taken many months of which there has been death and destruction, hardship and heartache, and a few triumphs. Each one of the main characters have been personally challenged numerous times. This specific scene showing them climbing the side of the mountain is the culmination of 9+ hours of movie viewing, and representing several months of their actual journey. Frodo is so physically exhausted that he cannot take another step and sits down to give up. Samwise makes one of the most heartfelt statements in all of movie history uttering these words, “Frodo, I can’t carry the ring for you, but I CAN carry you.” He then picks his friend up, and piggybacks him up the side of the mountain.

That one statement and visual representation best sums up my specific approach to life coaching. My approach is to do just that, come alongside and “carry” a person during a specific period of time in their life. I can’t carry their “ring(s)”, but I know I have the gifts, talents, life experience and most importantly, the empathy to carry someone while they are on their own journey of authenticity.

The fact that you have visited my website and read this far, shows that you are seeking, searching, looking for answers. Like myself, you recognize you are currently uncoached and find yourself feeling overwhelmed by singlehandedly carrying your life “rings.” And you now realize, you want/need a Samwise Gamgee.

I have purposefully left out describing many specifics throughout my journey but I assure you they are there. Chances are, I have personally experienced what you’re going through. And if not, then chances are, I have coached or “carried” others as their life coach. You’ll see on my website the areas of life that I have personal experience and or expertise in.

My encouragement to you is to make the choice to contact me. Everything starts with that initial contact. I look forward to hearing from you and assisting you with your personal journey of authenticity.