We see it in the media every day; people who can do AH-MAZING things whether it be feats of physical skill, music, or the arts. When we see videos of these people performing in ways that impress us, don’t we say to ourselves, “wow, that’s extraordinary” while at the same time thinking, “I guess I’m just “ordinary” because I can’t do anything that impressive. Do you know what the difference between ordinary and extraordinary is? Simply “extra.” We’ve been saying this word wrong all this time. Extraordinary should be pronounced, extra-ordinary. People who are extra-ordinary started out just like you and me as ordinary people. However over a period of time, people with some effort, plus discipline, plus sacrifice, plus trials and setbacks, plus heartaches, plus failures, plus disappointments, plus lonely stretches, plus desire have reached a place reserved for a select few, extra-ordinary. And then, there is fewer still, who apply the same process and coupled with more time and personal sacrifice, achieve the status of Legendary. 

Everyone starts out equally as ordinary. Some of the most extra-ordinary and legendary people were born into the worst of circumstances, and yet, found a way to change their stars. Just in as much as some people are born into affluence and stay ordinary their whole life. What is the extra-ordinary secret to success? I believe it is their mindset. The extra-ordinary choose to believe they can reach the goals they set and they DAILY apply the BIG D’s; desire, drive, and determination. But they also know that they cannot just settle for “good”, because good, is the enemy of the best. Let me say that one more time, and pay close attention because this is crucial to the process in going from ordinary to extra-ordinary, “Good, is the enemy, of the Best.” The extra-ordinary does not settle for just “good.” 

Have you ever heard the saying, “if you’re not moving forward you’re going backwards?” That phrase sums up the word complacency. Complacency, is a major roadblock, to becoming extra-ordinary. Complacency is the mindset where one believes that life is finally “good” so let’s just rest here for a little while and enjoy the fruits of our labor, ie complacency. Complacency can be likened to stagnant water. Did you know that it takes as little as 24-48 hours for standing water to become stagnant? And in as few as 12 days, stagnant water can breed mold and harmful bacteria. Likewise, in our own lives, it can take less than 2 weeks of being complacent to completely wreck our journey to extra-ordinary. And during that time frame, there is very little if any fresh water entering the stagnant pool and when it does, it is immediately polluted by the overwhelming percentage of lifeless, stagnant, bacteria filled water. The extra-ordinary person acknowledges and appreciates that life is good, but knows that it’s not the best and therefore continues their drive and determination, therefore avoiding complacency. The extra-ordinary person sees their life as a journey, a journey of milestones. Once a milestone is reached, the extra-ordinary person immediately sets a new milestone and begins their familiar process yet once again, without much if any rest and definitely no complacency. 

So what can a person do if they recognize they are living a good and ordinary life in lifeless stagnant water? What should be their first step(s)? First, be honest with yourself. Acknowledge you have been choosing to live of insanity; doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Tell yourself where you are is NOT where you want to stay. Second, forgive yourself. This is crucial as you can’t move forward effectively if you are sabotaging yourself. Third, create a plan, otherwise, “Fail to plan, plan to fail.” Create and write down your realistic plan, being very specific. For instance, if you’re plan is to change your physical shape, don’t just say, “I want to lose weight.” Your plan should identify exactly what weight you wish to lose overall. Is it water weight, muscle tissue, or body fat? Then, depending on how you answered that question, break your plan down further into how much “weight” you can realistically lose each week. And lastly, but perhaps most importantly, you must have an accountability partner. The reason that most people stay ordinary and fail often is because they have no accountability. Accountability is where you turn to a trusted friend or advisor and share with them your whole plan and ask them to hold you accountable. And in order for accountability to work properly, there has to be consequences for not following the plan and rewards for reaching milestones. 

Word of caution!!!! We must be very very careful of what we want to become extra-ordinary at. We see it all the time, parents doing what it takes to be extra-ordinary in their careers while choosing to be only ordinary as parents. Or those who put forth the desire, drive, and determination in pursuit of extra-ordinary status in athletics, or a hobby while settling for ordinary in their personal relationships. “One is a fool, who gains the whole world, and loses their soul.” Therefore, we must evaluate our motives and ask ourselves is, “what we are striving to be extra-ordinary at?” What are our priorities? If one is extra-ordinary in business, but has failed/failing marriages and their relationships with their kids are strained or troubled, are they still extra-ordinary? I say yes, they are, but at what a terrible and sad cost. Our western culture seems to rewards those who pursue hobbies at the cost of personal relationships. “Rewards” in the form of a bigger house, a newer more expensive car, more adult toys, or my personal favorite, those who are amateur hobby athletes who spend 20 to 30 hours a week training and thousands of dollars a year for athletic events that only a few receive a small metal award for all their efforts, while their children and or wife get what’s left, time wise.  

So here is my challenge to us all. Change our mindset! Do not accept we are just ordinary! Choose to become extra-ordinary but choose what we want to become extra-ordinary at wisely. Desire to do the “extras” it takes to be a better father, husband, wife, mother, co-worker, business owner, neighbor, friend, human with the goal to becoming the BEST version of ourselves. And let’s be determined by choosing to do the “extras” on a daily basis. 

I’d like to give a heart felt SHOUT-OUT to the extra-ordinary and legendary medical personnel who are living among us right now. They, and many others, are so overwhelmed with the Covid virus that has a strangle hold on our world right now. They need our physical support and our appreciation/affirmation. They are standing in the gap for us. Do not let ourselves get sidetracked with supporting college football, entertainers and musicians with our money and time and not supporting the people who put their very lives on the line everyday to keep us and our loved ones safe from harm’s way. If you have a friend or a neighbor or a family member who is in the medical field, consider giving them a simple gift card to a restaurant or make them a meal or volunteer to pick up their kids from school or mow their lawn. These random acts of kindness can truly make their valiant efforts feel valuable and keep them in a positive mindset during these troubling times.